Exsqueeze Me?

I swear I have the weirdest housemates ever. Saturday evening I was sitting in the TV room reading a book, and TambourineMan comes into the house, apparently does not see that I am reading and asks, “How do I make my hair white?” Uhh… Huh? I looked up from my book, gave him a funny look and said “What?” And he told me he was going to a bachelor party and the groom had white hair so all the guys were supposed to show up with white hair. Now, TM’s hair is going gray anyway, and is only about a quarter of an inch long, but it’s not white. He pulls a can of “Instant Blonde” spray out of a plastic bag and says “Do you think this’ll work?” So I said let’s try, and we went out on the patio and I sprayed some on his head. It was gold and glittery, so, no. I suggested he try flour, so we went into the kitchen, grabbed the flour jar, and rubbed it on his head. It worked pretty well but he ran the risk of having flour dandruff all night, and if his head sweated at all he was gonna have pasty hair. Ew.
He went upstairs and showered and got ready to go out, then came back downstairs and said he didn’t really want to flour his head, he was just going to go “as is”. I said he should do whatever, all the while thinking “If you weren’t going to do anything wiuth your hair, W(hy)TF did you ask me for help?!”

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