(if you are reading this, and I most likely know that you are reading it, you are not among those being addressed)
Dear Well Intentioned Friends,
While I appreciate the fact that you care about me, and only wish me well, please stop giving me unsolicited advice on my weight. Please do not buy me, as a Christmas gift, a book on weight loss written by someone at the Mayo Clinic. Please do not offer suggestions about the amount of water, milk, juice or copier fluid that I should be drinking to achieve an optimum result. Please do not suggest, if you see me eating a small handful of chips, that perhaps I should be eating an apple. Please do not tell me that I should have my thyroid checked by a specific test because certain types of thyroid conditions go undetected with just a simple blood test.
Thank you for being interested in my well-being and for wanting me to live a healthy happy life. But I am an adult. I am perfectly capable of making my own decisions, and as an adult, I am responsible for myself. You are not responsible for me or the decisions I make. You do not know how much water/milk/juice/copier fluid I have consumed when you were not looking. You do not know, when you see me eating a small handful of chips, that I have already had three apples today, thank you, and these are my first chips this week. Frankly, it isn’t really any of your business.
Please also understand that you are not my doctor. I have a doctor, and I discuss my health issues with her, including my eating disorder, the inherent risks to my health due to not just my weight but also my family medical history, and various other issues that one discusses with their physician. Since you also now know that I have an eating disorder, please respect the fact that I don’t really want to talk about it with you. All you need to know is that I am aware of the destructive nature of eating disorders and I’m working on it.
Please do not discuss me or my weight with my mother, thinking that I will react better when your words come through her. She knows that I am an adult, and she knows that if she comes to me as your mouthpiece she is only going to make me mad, and I’m not going to listen. She has gotten this same speech from me, albeit not worded in quite this way, and she accepts my stance. She knows that she has raised a strong willed daughter and she knows that if I want or need her help, I will come to her. The same is true for you. If I want your help I will ask for it. Until then, STFU already.
Sincerely,
Judy