Page 23, Sentence 5 -or- How to drive Judy insane

1. Find the nearest book.
2. Open to page 23.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post it.
Okay, this sucks. I have seen this on various sites (nifty link format stolen from the ever-clever Jules). I tried to do this yesterday at work, and the only book that isn’t a California Court directory is the book I’ve been reading on and off on my lunch hours for the last 5 months.
Page 23: Sentence 5: “‘About a month ago’, I said”.
From The Object of My Affection by Stephen McCauley.
So I tried again last night, having several books quite near to hand on my bedside table.
The first book I grabbed was Ghost Girl by Torey Hayden (Non-fiction). Page 23, Sentence 5? “‘Way to go Glen.'”
So then I tried the next nearest book to hand, The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty by Anne Rice (writing as A. N. Roquelaure, Fiction). Page 23: Sentence 5: “She was crying again.”
Tried again- The Atonement Child, by Francine Rivers (Fiction). Page 23: Sentence 5: “‘For Evidence.'” Now grammatically, this is not a complete sentence, but the way it’s printed in the book it is.
So I tried yet again. Wicked, by Gregory Maguire (Fiction). Page 23: Sentence 5?? “‘Yes.'”
And again… A Walk in the Woods, by Bill Bryson, thinking maybe if I switch to non-fiction I might get better results. It didn’t work with the first book, but I have hope… Page 23: Sentence 5: ”I thought of that'”
Is this a conspiracy? A curse?? The universe’s way of telling me I need to read more classic literature?? Everyone else I’ve seen post this has had pretty cool stuff (or at least not dialogue in every single book but one) for their Page 23: Sentence 5. But me? No. Even the Bible had nothing worth posting here on page 23 sentence 5. So I decided you know what? You know what you’re getting? Page 23, Sentence 5 of this weeks People magazine…
AAAAARGH!!! Page 23 is a full page ad for the movie Plainsong, a Hallmark Hall of Fame movie airing on CBS this Sunday at 9!
Forget it. Forget the nearest damn book to hand. I went downstairs to the BIG bookshelf in the living room, and grabbed my copy of The Scarlet Letter. I knew Nathaniel Hawthorne wouldn’t let me down. And finally, finally, something worthy of this stupidfucking nifty idea: “If, in our country, valor were rewarded by heraldic honor, this phrase- which it seems so easy to speak, but which only he, with such a task of danger and glory before him, has ever spoken- would be the best and fittest of all mottoes for the General’s shield of arms.”
Gah. See? This is why I do relatively few memes.

2 thoughts on “Page 23, Sentence 5 -or- How to drive Judy insane

  1. Jules

    It’s a difficult assignment, really it is. And it would appear that, in part, we have the same reading list. I would suggest that you go with the line from WICKED.
    “yes” is sometimes all the answer you need.

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