I had dinner at my parents’ place on Wednesday. My parents and I do not talk about anything remotely having to do with sex. It’s just the way it is. But somehow we managed to have two conversations related to that topic over dinner.
It started when I made an off color remark about the mustard on the table. It was Beaver brand. I laughed, and said to my mom, “you have Beaver mustard.”
She just looked at me and was like, “yeah, so?”
So then I said, “at least its not Sweet Hot Beaver Mustard.”
She was still looking at me quizzically, and so I explained that “sweet hot beaver mustard” (which is an actual product by the way) was a joke between some friends and I, because of its humourous implications/innuendo. It was at this point that I discovered that my 60-year-old mother doesn’t know what “beaver” is slang for, but that my 60-year-old father does.
Then we were talking about movies and I was saying that I saw Return of the King 3 times and didn’t have to pay for it any of the times. When I saw it with Lolly, we had re-admit tickets from when she and her family walked out of “Love, Actually”, because of the part with the unclothed movie stand-ins (I’m not being prudish, I’m trying to be filter-friendly and keep the unrelated search hits down), which somehow led to a conversation about how much that type of film star gets paid, and somehow my views on Ron Geramie (again with the search ref avoidance) came up- that frankly, if I am going to view that type of movie, I want the men to be attractive, not hairy and greasy. Thank you, I am much more turned on by someone who is easy to look at, than some ugly ass guy with a huge… talent (to quote Moulin Rouge). I got a raised eyebrow from my mom at the “if I’m going to view that kind of film” (thought I actually said “If I’m going to watch ****) but thankfully she let it go…