I thought I had put the more angstful aspects of the fallout with Sarah and Ida behind me. I saw Sarah a month ago, and things were not as bad as I had feared between the two of us. They weren’t good, but they weren’t as bad as I had feared. I did not see Ida that night, as she and Mo were on their honeymoon. I think I will see her tonight. I hadn’t given that fact much thought, but she was in my dreams last night, and none of it was good. I think a lot of it stems from still not really knowing what caused the fallout.
I haven’t dwelled on it, but I’m still thinking the same things I thought then. If you are upset with someone, if you want a break from them, do you lend them things? Do you suggest getting pedicures together? If you know your mom has some kind of problem with them, do you invite her along on the pedicure trip? It just feels like so many of the pieces still don’t fit.
I’m past the day to day anguish that was there. I’m past the hurts that felt deep enough that they couldn’t be survived. But my heart is still a little bit aflutter at not knowing what tonight holds. I’m past those other things, and I’d like them to stay past.

3 thoughts on “Healing

  1. Almost Lucid (Brad)

    The whole thing sounds really odd to me. I hope you find an answer that satisfies you, but I’m afraid that all you’ll find is that she doesn’t deserve that deep friendship and trust that you were giving her.

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